Haven't updated in ages. To be quick and blunt. Life is great, yay. and...


I adopted a cute lil' cow fetus








YAY FOR COW FETUS! XD

Hmmm. well yesterday and all of this morning i was all...crappy mood...ick..emo-ish...SO! in the result of that i'm in a good mood. i guess...dude, having a bleeding lip from my trumpet is not cool man. oh well...the ice cube feels nice on my lip. umm...marching band practice was cool today.i felt so happy...for the last set of sunshine...i got to my 13 steps!!! ^______________________^ seriously, that was one of the highlights in my day... ^^;

Spanish class was effing hysterical! Ah, shinny makes life so much funnier. Seeing shinny about to eff a boy in the buttocks (even he didn't mean to) was a funny sight indeed. and not to mention a boy making an attempt to pull shinny's pants down XD
<br Life can be good...whoot for being happy!

HAHA! I'm on the top of the effing world whores! XDD!!! RAWR! tehe! >>;;; Dang, I'm at a high right now! (no, not drugs, mood swings, ya know? lows, highs?) anyways YAY! Life is sweet right now! ^_^ 11:49PM and i'm stuck on the computer. YUSH! tehe...and school tomorrow, aw, oh well!

Well let's see. Last time I posted I was in a crappy mood..still am, but whatever. I know it'll pass eventually. Ummm...

Yesterday was pretty sweet. Went to a football game (eh, football games doesn't really intrest me when it's in the afternoon) and we had to go to a competition at Shawnee. We came in FIRST! ^^ That really made my night, cause 65% of the time i was in a crappy mood. But yeah, it's nice to see that we came in 1st...I remember when we came last in 4 XD. I was really exhausted and drained when I came home though, and I come home at 12 then my dad tells me "Oh, you have a soccer game tomorrow at 10." Dude I'm just "O.O; ...wtf? why?!?!" *sighs*

So here I am updating at 8:32 in the morning, originally woke up at 7 cause i wanted to use the computer for awhile...even though I kept falling back asleep XD So yeah.Yesterday's competition was fun, it was cool to see the other bands, though I wanna see the one with Nightmare Before Christmas!! ;_;

I'm messed up. Crap. I try to help myself, but I fail. Crap. I'm slowly turning into the person who I was last year. Crap.



What is the matter dear child? I can trust me, right? I wish.

Holy crap...I'm in utter shocked. I mean, I am so...flabbergasted it's hard to breathe. I'm just, "Wow, is this really happening?" Breathe girl...effing breathe. Okay, yeah for those who are confused as heck on what I'm ranting on about, it may be nothing news to you, but it's HUGE for me. Okay, for a couple of months I've been having grudges against someone, yes, very strong negative feelings. And this past summer I decided to have a brand new start. Leaving my mistakes and bad habits behind. Everything was fine, until one person came up, I couldn't let go of what had happened, so I decided it's time for some peace to come. I unblocked this guy, and I was talking with him. To my suprise...it went well. NOTHING went wrong...the conversation may have been bland, but it went...fine. I almost want to cry cause I can't believe i wasted so much time hating this one person, when he could of cared less. I just hope things keep going the right way. It's time to finish all loose ends, starting now.

had band practice today...i felt as though i didn't do half-bad. yay! ^^ i thought it was going to be a bad day since last band practice was just crappy. eh, that was a sucky day back then, feel bad for the people who i gave an attitude to ><; sorries. anyways took a quiz that was on my sis's livejournal. though i'd post it

You scored as Pride. </td> Lust 100% Pride 100% Sloth 81% Wrath 75% Envy 69% Greed 31% Gluttony 6% Seven deadly sins created with QuizFarm.com

*laughs nervously* oh my >>;

eh, deleted my last entry. didn't like it. Oh well. had a soccer game, we won, yay. Damn it, right now I'm just whatever. Hormones, I guess? I don't know... Today in homeroom we saw the tape of the football game (happy rob? XD). I felt really upset cause I know I can do better if I try hard enough. Heh, marching band. Heh. No way in effing way I'm giving up my effing time just to eff up in the band, EFF NO! Darn, I must try harder, I have to. Right now I just so...I don't know anymore!! Seriously, right now, I just wish I can have one effing day where I can just FORGET EVERYTHING. seriously. I don't know....stress is just getting to me ><; I wish my cold would go away....doubles for my attitude problem right now. Must be happy..*sighs* hate having an emo day. Tomorrow will be better...

My nose is all funk-deh-fied. Oh well. Today was the first competition. It was really fun, though the other bands were so good ><;; Makes me want to try harder, and I will. I feel UBER proud of myself today. I managed to do the best I can, I messed up BIG time about once, but yeah... better than 3 times at friday. x.x Hmm we came in 4th place out of....four! Personally it didn't bother me cause I know I tried my best. And not to mention the upper classmen were being optimistic saying that we'll be last for awhile, but in the end we'll be near the top, something like that. ....Uhhh road trip was short. Then again I fell asleep twice. aheh ^^; I don't know what to say...it was just fun. Yeah.... Oh yes...being mooned by some boy was the most scariest thing I've ever experienced in a long time....*shudders* ick

Hmmm...I should so be doing my homework...oh well! >>; Man will I regret that comment tomorrow morning in homeroom. ><; Oh well...again. Man...i stink! XD Yes, I still have yet to take my shower. As soon as I get home, my friend jess calls. Gave her details about the football game, she might be going, YAY! Then as soon as I was done with her, my dad calls telling me if i wanted to go to the store, and i did. Rawr, then I got home, started homework cause i had a lot. Left my darn folder at school, GRR! Then I had to go out to the library to get a book for school before it closed. So rawr, here I am...smelly....ewwww. (Chrissy, molly, 'Gag me with a spoon!') Kinda nervous about tomorrow....man I still think we suck XD I'm done...yeah... *handcuffs herself to the computer* I DON'T WANT TOMORROW TO COME!

>>;

Lessons that I learned today.

1. Never trust sister with the key, for she might lose it and then me and her are both locked out.
2. Shinny's eyes are tiny.
3. Jess will never go slutty on me...YAY!
4. *shakes head* My friends have went to the darkside!! ;_; (only jess knows what i mean XD)
5. I look old enough to attend a county college! ^^
6. Lenape pisses me off when the words "north" or "main" is involved.

uhhh... yes. The amazing stuff I learn. wh00t!

Finally, my first day that I can relax! This week has been stressful. First week of highschool as a clueless freshman. I think the days got easier as the week went by. Teachers are either okay or really cool. Art, health, and english are my favorite classes so far. Eh, but today health made me very upset and emotional at the end. The whole teenagers surviving high school thing just really got to me. Cause it was either me, or someone I know really well fitted in what they were talking about, anorexia, suicide, depression, divorce, missing a parent, mentioning of scars, drugs, and alcohol, everything just hit home. I try to get away from the past, I like moving foward, but that film just brought me down for that brief moment. After class this girl was saying that people were laughing during the movie, now to me, that's just low and cruel. I could NEVER laugh at that, actually. I was walking with cody, shinny, and molly, and I told cody, "I didn't like that film." (as in, I didn't like how it made me sad, great film, just depressing) and then I started crying, molly and shinny kept quiet, and cody stroked my neck trying to make me feel better. eh. I got better after 15 mins or so.

-:-Lone Marionette -:-

*crawls to computer*...I'm..pretty...much...deeeeeead. Long day today, classes felt short. Band practice felt long, waiting for my dad felt long, soccer practice short. Either way...exhausted. *pokes feet* My poor feet ;_; Ugh, my 30 min break on the computer. Then homework, and shower. I swear, day 3 and I'm already mucho exhausted! *sob* Oh well, that's high school for ya.

Oh yeah, before I forget. Has it ever happened when someone does a favor for you, but they mess it up? I don't want to sound mean to my dear, loving, not so observerant (just joking, chrissy...not really XD) sister. My sister (Chrissy) was gathering up my soccer clothes, shoes, socks, and shinguards while I was waiting for my dad to pick me up for practice. Well she got the stuff, and my dad picks me up and stuff. I look through my stuff, trying to put on my clothes in the car while my dad is driving. And just so you know, for bg info. I design my shirts, by using fabric from other shirts sometimes...weeeeeell. The shirt my sister packed me had holes in it, on my shoulder and back ._.; Not to mention she forgot my water...and a shinguard, and no cleets. Oh well, I managed. Thanks anyways chris... >>; I'm done, too tired, too lazy, too eh whatever. XD Bai

-:-Lone Marionette-:-

...rawr

Yeah, just thought I'd update cause I haven't in awhile. Then again I was effing busy this whole time! I'll just write about Otakon and Band Camp. @.@

Otakon was the best. I met my online friends, and made a new one, Liz. It was spiffy, we had a great time. I got split up a few times though. But before I was by myself *tear* XDD But I did see a couple of japanese music videos...err I went to the dealers room (i got some awesome pants and dvds). I also went to an Origami class...too bad it was one of those classes where you read instructions from a book... especially since I have the book at home! rawr. But what else...well around 5 i met my friends. Got to walk around a lot, chat, sitting down a lot XD But it was spiffy. I remember we got to see some funny music videos. Liz and I met the voice actors of InuYasha from well, InuYasha(english) and Duo from Gundam Wing!! Scott (Duo) was the FUNNIEST *wipes tear* I remember one quote when he saw a yaoi pic of Duo and Heero "Oh no....NOT ANOTHER GAY SEX PIC!!" lol!! And he was telling us "Man, there are some weird and disturbing people. Some people had me sign a twinkie and a banana." Oh, I also remember that when I was with my friends we went to the Otacafe, got to watch some people sing japanese songs from anime shows/games. Quite entertaining might I add. What else happen... Oh I got to hear/somewhat see (it was a dark room)the voice actor of Shuichi from Gravitation. *sighs* It was uber fun at Otakon. I also met this guy at Otakon, he's 15, same as me, and he was so cute! As in...adorable, "Awww!" cute. He's pretty cool, he lives somewhat near me...sorta..not really. It was great man...rather not go into details cause I'm trying to remember it all ^^;

Sadly to say...I got really upset twice. Once with my dad that day. Ya see, I really only need 2-3 days where it's, um, this is going to come out so wrong and selfish, but a "ME, ME, ME!" kinda day. And Otakon is the 2 days, and maybe one day for my birthday depending on my mood, but anywho. The night before Otakon he decided to take his "friend" aka his whore. I'm sorry, but I personally think its true! I mean he just brings her over to screw. Anyways, not to mention Jenny (the "friend") brought her daughter too, meaning I had to share my room. At least I get to share a room, before I'd get kicked out of my own room, rawr. Still, I don't want to share my room with a 5 year old, who keeps groaning all night. I'm sorry, but I can get very annoyed very easily. So I couldn't fall asleep until about 12 cause of the kid, and had to wake up at 9 to get ready, cause my dad claimed we were going to leave at 10, and he knew I wanted to get there early. So we ended up leaving at 11/12 -.-; Rawr! And she kept on complaining and asking "Are we there yet?" I'm sorry, once again, but I can't take that kinda stuff. Especially since I was in a bad mood to begin with, and oi. Though, the whole car trip I just kept telling myself, "Jackie... calm down. She's just a kid, I bet I was just as annoying." At least I got there in general, but as soon as I got there I bolted out of the car, got my stuff and ran into the convention center XDDD!

Another part that got me uber upset is this creepy guy. *shudders* Okay, just to give some background info. I was in Baltimore, Maryland so I didn't exactly know the environment or places, and I wanted something to eat. So the only place I did know where there was food near by was a place where there's about 5 restraunts (sp?) and I cross the roads and crap. I'm walking, and I see this guy, umm, he was skinny, black, and pretty old. Possibly in his 40's or 50's or something, cause he had some gray hair. Anyways, he had his arms up, and I just got a lil weirded out, so I walked passed him. And then he walks up to me and he walks infront of me saying "What, no hug? All i wanted was a hug? I mean, come on, your clothes are so cool" At first I was just "err..", but being the idiot that I am, I thought I'd be nice and give him a half a hug. And then he brings into a full hug, kisses my head and I pull away and he said "Come on, go with me to the football game tonight." I told him "Look, I got to go." And I'm trying to walk away, and he's trying to tell me "Well it's over there near-" and I don't know where he said cause I was already far from hearing distance. *shudders* Ick, and then I told my friend Christa, and she goes "ewww... there isn't even a football game tonight." Though I think it may be possible one of my friends felt kinda guilty. Cause I was with Liz, at the autographs, and then she left when I was still waiting in line (she said brb but I didn't hear her) so I was by myself, so when I met that guy I was by myself. And christa told her "Yeah, when Jackie was by herself this old guy tried to hit on her" and she was just quiet and stuff. But yeah. *sighs* I seriously hate it when guys do that kinda stuff. I know I overreact, but this is the 2nd time a guy tried to hit on me like that, and it's disturbing. Though, I can't figure out which one was worse. Anyways, I' done rambling on this topic.

Anyways, as soon as my wondeful time at Otakon ended....it was band camp x.x Dude, sunday was torcher. about 8 hours in the sun, and an hour lunchbreak. Though when we actually went to the camp susex(sp?) thingy thing, it was mucho hard work, but mucho fun. It was great. Especially 'Lil Miss Band Camp' lmao!! I swear, it was one of the funniest thing I ever saw, and the staff skit was really funny too. It was really fun, but sometimes the work and the people were too much. Eeeeeep! I had a REALLY hard time in the beginning, at least I'm understanding this whole marching thing a lot better...now the music is a different story. I must memorize(sp?) the music! Rawr... I have to work very hard on the spare time I have left of summer vacation. Dude... on thursday night i wanted to switch cabins! >>; A war between my cabin mates (well not many of them really...) against seniors. Scary. I tried to stay out of it, though I got uber upset when I found there was water in the cabin, and my drill book, and my drawings got wet. THANK GOD it was only the folder that got wet, and not the actual drawings. Then I would be sobbing. Other than that, it was somewhat interesting to watch the people go at each other. I did like how the people at band camp were really nice. Aw man, I feel extremely grateful for the people who helped me a lot. I'd be lost without them. When I came home I was exhausted.

Then I went to the mall, but I was practically dead....so not much happen XD I did feel a lil weird sometimes at band camp, because it was a completely different environment than what I am used to. Dude I was uber quiet, and shy. And a lot of my friends know that I can get really wild and outrageous XDDD Oh well, maybe I'll open up eventually.

Man...at first I wanted this to be a short entry...I guess not ^^;; Anyways, bai!

*edit thingy thing, stole this from katy's entry >>;* Just thought I'd fill this out... pretty bored so yeah...

-Current Clothes: shorts, t-shirt
- Current Mood: hyper...but tired.
- Current Music: at this moment jack off jill, but the music keeps on changing @.@
- Current Taste: pringles
- Current Make-up: none
- Current Hair: down
- Current Smell: o.O; good i think, or I hope so.
- Current thing I ought to be doing: knitting
- Current Desktop Picture: nothing.
- Current Favorite Artist: uhhhh
- Current Favorite Group: uh Jack Off Jill
- Current Book: Memoirs of a Geisha
- Current CD in CD Player: Nightwish, it's burned though.
- Current Color Of Toenails: black! as in, nailpolish. not some sort of fungus or anything XD
- Current Refreshment: water
- Current Worry: summer reading

[ LAST PERSON.. ]
- You Touched: ._.; no one sexually, but I did hug gabe, or was it carli i hugged last? oh well.
- You Talked to: myself! well...besides me, my dad
- You Hugged: carli or gabe
- You Instant messaged: kat

[FAVOURITE .. ]
- Foods: taco
- Drink: gatorade
- Color: uh, i don't know. black i think
- Cd: the one that's in my cd player
- Shoes: platforms, i need the height!
- Candy: starbursts
- Animal: I don't know, snakes or dolphins or stingray
- TV Show: Anime:Revolutionary Girl Utena, but for average tv show, Foody Call or Fashion Trance
- Song: errr can't chose
- Vegetable: cucumber
- Fruit: too many... plums at the moment
- Cartoon: none, but anime is a different story...

[ ARE Y0U .. ]
- Understanding: yup
- Open-minded: yup
- Arrogant: I hope not...
- Insecure: yeah
- Easily Amused: but of course
- Random: you bet ya!
- Hungry: all the time
- Friendly: Well with people I can tolerate yes, but if I don't like you, I still try to be civil
- Smart: Not really
- Moody: Sometimes
- Independent: Yeah, very much so
- Healthy: I think I am
- Emotionally Stable: no
- Shy: Yeah, but once I'm comfortable I can get really wild
- Difficult: nope
- Bored Easily: yup
- Messy: yup
- Responsible: sometimes
- Obsessed: *nodds*
- Angry: Yeah, I think I'm cursed with permanent(sp) PMS XD
- Sad: eh
- Happy: eh
- Trusting: Yes, I hope so anyways.
- Talkative: depends on the subject

[ WH0 D0 Y0U WANT T0 .. ]
- Kill: no one, I'm not that cruel
- Slap: Greg
- Get High With: me, and drugs? Nah.
- Tickle: Marc, that kid needs to laugh.
- Talk To Offline: Jess
- Talk To Online: Christa

[ HAVE Y0U EVER .. ]
- Had sex? Naw.
- Done Drugs? Never.
- Eaten an entire package of Oreos: no...why do I hear that quesiton often!?
- Been on stage? Yeah, I was just on stage about 3 days ago folding paper! XD
- Dumped Someone? No.
- Gotten in a car accident? No.

[ FAV0URITE .. ]
-Shampoo? Pantene or something like that
-Toothpaste? Colgate? No preference, as long as it doesn't hurt my teeth
-Soap? Don't have one
-Room in your house? upstairs
-Instrument? i have none.

[ EITHER/0R .. ]
-Coffee or hot chocolate? hot chocolate
- big or little? o.O; now what are we talking about? XDDD
-Lace or satin? lace
-New or old? i like both
-T-shirt or tank top? t-shirt
-Rose or Lily? rose
-Oldies or pop? pop
-Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? no, and I don't want one thank you very much. single-ism rocks!
-Do you have a best friend? No, i have more than one best friend. I have 2.

[ IN THE LAST 24 H0URS, HAVE Y0U .. ]
- Cried? sorta
- Helped someone? yeah
- Bought something? yeah
- Gotten sick? no
- Gone to the movies? no
- Gone out for dinner? i went to the mall for dinner >>;
- Said "I love you"? *shakes head side to side*
- Written a real letter? nope
- Moved on? oh yes.
- Talked to an ex? no.
- Missed an ex? no for cody, and EFF NO FOR GREG! ick.
- Talked to someone you have a crush on? maybe
- Had a serious talk? probably have but can't remember
- Missed someone? yeah, my mom
- Hugged someone? mmhmmm
- Fought with your parents? yeah, my dad.
- Fought with a friend? not that I know of.

[ D0 Y0U .. ]
- Wear eye shadow? no
- Put on a "front"? i don't know
- Have a crush on someone? no.
- Eat with your mouth open? naw, I spare people the sight.
- If you got a tattoo, where would you get it? a snake around my wrist
- What color is your floor/carpet in your room? tan/beige
- What was the last CD you bought? i don't buy cds.
- How did you spend last summer? otakon, band camp, and with my mom.
- When's the last time you showered? last night.
- Are you lonely? sometimes
- Are you happy? sometimes
- Are you wearing pajamas? uh huh, i just woke up 2 hours ago
- Are you talking to someone online? *shakes head* on as away >>;

-:- Lone Marionette -:-

I'm really confused. Ever since Friday I've been feeling bitter, unruly, and irascible. Personally I wish I knew why I'm falling backwords. Before I was making progess on becoming a truly happy and carefree person. I wanted to march forward with my head up high to a place where grief or anger doesn't exists. But it seems as though I've become too exhausted on trying with so much strength. Then I start becoming weaker and fainter, soon, I will end tripping on my own feet, falling. While I'm on the ground in failure, I will see other marchers move forward to magical and peaceful place. The only thing left for me to do is to crawl back, to retreat back to the other people who weren't successful when they tried marching...maybe some other day I will attempt the long march ahead of me.

I really don't mean to be harsh, cruel, or anything negative to anyone, it just happens. I suppose it is best I stay away from people until I have things under control again.

-:- Lone Marionette -:-

Today was an intersting day. I go to bed alone, being the only one in my room. Next morning I wake up to find s 5 year girl in the bed next to mine. Of course I was just "....eh?" then I realized it was Jenny's (my dad's 'friend') daugther. I went out around 8, walked to the park, have some time to myself on the swings. Lately, ever since Friday, I feel myself reverting back to who I was before I went to Virginia the first time. Heh, I thought I was making progress. Oh well.

I went to Alysia's job, the Funplex. I hung out with Alysia and George sorta. Though George got fired, which sucks. Hopefully that Alex guy didn't mean it when he told George get out. Well, when it was time to leave I called my dad, but he never answered. So I went and stayed at Alysia's for awhile. It was cool, I got to talk with Alysia with a couple of situations. Then I called my dad later to pick me up, he did. Stupid me, I left my cd player at her house. So I ran all the way to Alysia's house. I rang the doorbell, heh, she was kinda shocked, but thought it was funny that I ran all the way to her house just for a cd player. I love my music...? Yeah, I guess that's the reason. I stayed at her place for about 20 mins or so. I was going to walk home, and then her mom's boyfriend, Bob drove me home, and drove George home too. Yes...George was still at Alysia's XD

I don't know why, but I have been rather crabby when I got home...still am actually. I'm just pissed, though I don't know what or who at. Oh well.

-:- Lone Marionette -:-

Heh, finally 15. Today has been a long day... it was a roller coaster of emotions. It was odd...one minute I was really hyper and happy laughing my head off...next time I'm extremely upset. The thing is...it only happens when I'm around people, never when I'm at home. Maybe it's the atmosphere at the mall. I got so many hugs today, and that was cool. I was able to talk to Alex, which was great, seeing how I don't talk to her very often, and I got to talk to Marc for awhile. Though it sucks that he's moving to Canada, and today was the last day he'll be allowed to go to the mall. *sighs*

I talked to my mom on the phone today. It's odd, I don't realize how much I miss her until I talk to her on the phone. I suppose that's why I don't enjoy calling her, to me, it hurts knowing that I can't be with her anytime I want. I will just have to over come this obstacle again this year. I will make it.

Today I was talking with one of my best friends today, Christa. Dang, I get to see her in 2 weeks, it makes me really happy... It's going to be aout 3 years since I met her. Going to Otakon will make me the happiest person living on this earth, for that one day, for that one special day...all stress and thoughts vanish. All situations aren't existant anymore, well, that is until Otakon is over...

I feel extremely odd. I haven't felt so dizzy, lightheaded, out of control in such a long time. It's quite puzzling and scary in it's own way.

Well I'm done for now. Bai.

-:- Lone Marionette -:-

Okay! This time I will make an effort to update my livejournal...as much as I can! >>; Well...my arms are sore..marching band is a killer! It's kinda fun though, but hard work.

Tomorrow is my 15th b-day ^^ So that's pretty cool. My dad and I are going to A.C. Moore tonight, dude, I'm going to have such a hard time not to try and buy the whole store >>;;

I just came back from Virginia, yeah, I miss my mom. She just means a lot to mean, and yeah. I'll hopefully see her at Thanksgiving and stuff. Wow...I can't believe in about 3-4 months I'm going to have a baby sibling! Spiffy, the baby is going to be uber cy-ute!

-:- Lone Marionette -:-